Oh, God! I always want to write something clever and ask a bunch of very important questions, most of which turn out to be rhetoric... This is exactly where and why I get stuck in my writing. I stumble on my own contemplative thoughts as if they are rocks and before I am able to go anywhere further, I need to stop and take a breath. May be even put my hands on a bigger rock in my imagination and say to myself: "You don't need to think so much. Just relax, take it easy." By doing so I instantly feel how the tension in my entire body goes away and I am not out of breath anymore, nor am I out of words either. I feel like I can make another step and write another sentence.
Today I devoted a lot of my time to finding the perfect hiking boots for the climb. I spent a couple of hours last night researching on-line and in the morning I went to REI to try on a pair. They seemed really nice, but the moment I was about to start asking a Sales Associate all the specific questions I had, I realized that my car's meter had expired and I need to run before I get a ticket. I decided not to go back to the store and drove home to resume my on-line shopping. Here they are! My fabulous hiking boots purchased on www.altrec.com with the help of a very amicable and nice sales person.
My boots will arrive at the end of the week and I will start breaking them in. I am so excited!
It's so bizzare to see myself being excited about purchasing hiking boots or to enjoy hiking as much as I do and even to prepare for Kilimanjaro climb... Being outdoors and excercising is a very new activity for me. I usually wear high-healed shoes and prefer driving to walking. Yoga was the most I could get myself into, but hiking???
I started hiking with my friend a couple of months ago. It was before I made a commitment to climb Kilimanjaro. She just got back from South Africa where she spent a whole month and I couldn't wait to hear everything about her experience. It felt so natural to walk and talk. Time would fly by really fast and it didn't seem like a boring work-out. One day she said that she wants to be outdoors more, that she wants to get her hands dirty. The next moment we saw a little pile of dark sand and the two of us pressed our hands against it. It was very cool and soft. We closed our eyes and enjoyed a moment of silence. A realization hit me that we are all the same -stones and trees, dirt and flowers, squirrels and birds - everything we see and all we are in our bodies, is just stardust. Being closer to nature, breathing it in, allowing oneself to be a part of it, is a little secret to happiness.
When I started hiking my life started changing. Everyday I am getting to know my body better and better. My spirit has inhabited it for more than 32 years, but never fully felt at home, always wanted to be somewhere else. I was looking for things I wanted on the outside, and miraculously found them inside. There is a Russian saying that there is no truth in your feet. Well, probably, there isn't. I don't even know what the truth is. What feels true for me right now is that my feet are taking me where I need to be and I am trusting them. Once and for all I decided to make a commitment to co-create a life that I will enjoy. I had no idea how to fulfill it and just started walking. This is how my journey began.
