All the support I need

These days it is so easy for me to exersise every day in my preparation for Kilimanjaro climb, but it is still so hard to make an entry in my blog! Writing seems almost like climbing without training. What if I knew that my life depended on how ready I am to write?

Very often my friends ask me if I am excited about my Kilimanjaro climb. To be honest, I barely think about it at all:) But every morning I wake up I start reading about Kilimanjaro, then I go for a hike, for a run or for yoga. In a training plan that I designed for myself the first month I was hiking for at least 3 hours a week and running for at least 30 minutes a week. This month it is 4 hours and 40 minutes, next month - 5 hours and 50 minutes... Now I am at the end of my 2nd month and I wish I had more to say about everything in detail! On the contrary, for the first time in my life I have less to say and more to do.

I am starting to notice how much my body and overall emotional balance have already changed. My legs, belly and arms have gotten firm and slim. If I get tired, it's usually at the end of the day and it's the kind of tiredness which makes your falling asleep really sweet and desirable. I wake up in the morning earlier than usual and feel full of energy. I can get hungry very fast and eat quite a bit, but I don't gain any weight. Emotionally I feel very capable and strong. If I ever get upset, it is easy for me to pull myself together and change the mood for a better one. If there is something bothering or annoying me, it takes me no time to find an answer and take care of myself. I feel like for the first time in my life I am receiving all the support I have ever needed. This support comes from my own heart.

So, am I excited about Kilimanjaro climb? I am VERY excited! This excitement is not about a mountain in Tanzania, it's rather about every single day I wake up to. It feels as if nothing can be more marvelous than to hike up to the Observatory in Griffith Park and encounter cute little squirrels looking for food or go for a run near my house and run up and down Lilian Way, Cahuenga and Wilcox Streets, spotting cats and dogs now and then or looking at pretty houses, rose gardens and trees with falling red leaves. Or stand firmly on my yoga mat and feel that I am really standing on the Earth and how it pushes against my soles and heels with such force that I could have flown away if not for the gravity. With my eyes closed, my knees a little bit bent and legs apart at shoulder length, I breathe in and my belly expands filling my entire body with precious oxygen and then I breathe out, as if letting an imprint of my soul to join the transparent air and become one with it. One with all there is.

In that quiet eternal moment of stillness I feel very supported. It always makes me realize that this is all the support I ever needed and I had it all the way and always will. I have been practicing this knowledge since I started training, and by doing this I have been building up not only my inner strength, but also my trust. I trust myself. I trust that I can depend on myself, that I can take care of myself whenever I need, that I am always here for myself. I am safe.

I never thought it is possible to find and re-connect with oneself so simply.